Harry Potter & The Daleks Revisited
by The Tenth Doctor's Companion
Summary: Harry PotterDoctor Who crossover. The baddies are back for another crack at the Harry Potter team but the 10th Doctor and friends are back to save the day and the Author ends up arguing with the Master. Spoilers up to and beyond 'Last of the Time Lords'


Title: Harry Potter & The Daleks Revisited.

Author: Jade

E-mail: PG-13

Archive: Yes, please

Fandoms: Harry Potter/Doctor Who crossover.

Summary: The baddies are back for another crack at the Harry Potter team but the 10th Doctor and friends are back to save the day and the Author ends up having an argument with the Master.

A/N: Contains spoilers for ALL the HP books (but ignores HP canon after book 5) and all the episodes up to and beyond 'Last of the Time Lords'.

Second A/N: Pokes fun at the Doctor Who actors and numerous other actors. Not to be taken seriously.

Now on with the story...

It was a normal day for Harry Potter, after the events of the Dalek episode in which a rabid Dalek had invaded Hogwarts, and suffered from an identity crisis, due to being touched by a random black cat, a bimbo, Barty Crouch Junior and the Author. The Dalek was followed close behind by the ninth and tenth Doctor and their companions, Rose1, Rose2 and Captain Jack Harkness. Since these events, Harry had started reading a Rose/Jack/Martha/Ten/Master fic in which there is some hot Rose/Martha action, involving string bikinis and lime jelly.

There was an grating sound and Pavati clutched Harry's arm in a death grip. "Hey, didn't this happen last time?"

Harry extricated his arm from her and steered her hand to clutch onto Seamus' instead. "Oh, please, no! Anything but THAT!"

A loud bang and Harry saw a cloud of smoke appear. "Not again!"

A grating noise, coming from the fog, stopped all conversation cold. Harry listened a little closer and he could make out words, "Ex-ter-minate! Ex-ter-minate!"

"Holy crap!" Dean said. "It's the Daleks. AGAIN!!!"

A dark shape slid out of the fog. It was shaped like a giant pepperpot, with a toilet plunger sticking out. "Ex-ter-minate! Ex-ter-minate! Ex-ter-minate!"

Ron looked at them. "Not the bloody daleks again!" he groaned.

"Honestly, you'd think Russell T Davis would be a little sick of those overgrown dustbins by now," Hermione commented, watching as the Dalek scooted out of the Hall. "At least they didn't make an appearance in the Season 3 finale."

"No, but there was the Master as played by John Simm and Tenkerbell, as played by the tenth Doctor," Harry stated. He looked up. "Oi! Author! Why are the Daleks back?"

"Because I love them," the author replied, drinking a cup of coffee out of a huge Starbucks mug.

"Why not the Master?"

"Oh, I love him too."

The TARDIS appeared again, narrowly missing Cho, who was there, just because the author wanted her to be, and the door swung open, and Martha Jones stepped out, closely followed by the tenth Doctor and Captain Jack Harkness.

Harry whistled as he took in Martha. "Hello Nurse!" he exclaimed, channelling the Animaniacs for a moment there.

"When I said it was all a bit 'Harry Potter' I didn't expect you to take me to see the actual Harry Potter," Martha pointed out, looking extremely gleeful and not noticing the way all the teenage boys' tongues were hanging out as they spotted her.

"Yeah, well, look around you!" the tenth Doctor said, waving his arms around excitedly

"Where's that handsome fellow known as Barty?" Jack questioned, looking around as if he might magically appear.

"Other dimension," Hermione answered. "He's busy... working his way through various characters, so we may not see him for a LONG while yet."

"Oh, right. Same dimension as Rose or a whole other dimension?"

"Whole different dimension."

"Wonder if I'm there," Jack wondered aloud.

Ron gave him a look, obviously been catching up on the news so he now knows the full story. "Well, duh. You're, like, one of the first people he picked up when he arrived there." Jack made a sound that sounded like 'Squee' and did a cute little dance.

"Oi!" the author interjected. "Stop trying to pick up Barty and get with the plot."

"Plot, what plot?" Harry questioned. "I wasn't aware there even was a plot."

"There's a flipping Dalek on the loose!" Martha exclaimed. "Can't the author come up with anything original?"

The author looked insulted. "Yes! If I had my way, the Season Three finale would've gone like this."

-The scene abruptly changes. It's the Valiant just as it was in Last of the Time Lords.-

The Master pointed his Laser Screwdriver at Martha. "You may have beaten me but your little companion is going to get it."

Martha smirked, reached out, grabbed the Master's outstretched wrist and twisted it, before throwing the Master face down on to the floor in a judo throw. She loomed over him. "Oh, I did ninja training during the last year," she stated calmly. She then sat on the Master's back and pinned his hands with her feet.

"Get off me," the Master snarled, wriggling slightly.

"Stay still," Martha ordered, smacking the Master hard on the back of the head. The Doctor and Jack shared a glance but made no move to stop Martha.

"Ow! I'm the Master! I shouldn't have to put up with this."

"Deal with it," Martha growled, reaching in her bag and pulled out a newspaper. "Let's see what the headlines say... Ooh, the Master get his arse kicked... by a girl. Aww, diddums..." She rolled up the newspaper and whacked the Master on the head with it, as if he a misbehaving animal. "Bad Master."

"Stop that, you mad woman," the Master ordered, trying to throw Martha off him.

Martha grabbed the Master's head, pulled it back slightly and leaned forward to whisper in the Master's ear. "And who made me mad?" she questioned. "Hmm? You did," she answered her own question, pushing his head forward again, so his head smacked on the hard floor.

"Argh!" the Master moaned, finding his head coming in very quick contact with the floor.

The Doctor rushed forward to pull Martha off the Master, followed closely behind by Jack, who quickly handcuffed the Master's hands behind him.

Martha whirled to face the Doctor and hit him on the head with the newspaper. "What was that for?" the Doctor asked, giving her the big Bambi eyes. "What did I do to you?"

"Ohh, where shall I start?" Martha growled, hitting him again.

"Stop it!"

Martha turned to look at Jack, who quickly raised his hands in surrender. "I didn't do anything!"

-The scene fades back to the Great Hall.-

"That would've been much better than the scene that they did use," Ginny pointed out, "you know, the one in which the Doctor becomes Tinkerbell."

"Do I look like a fairy to you?" the Doctor questioned, putting his hands on his hips.

"Do I have to answer that?" Ginny asked, with a devilish grin.

TBC


End file.
